Bellybelly.com of Australia recently put together a little list of 'Rules' to follow when visiting a new baby. You can read the actual article here, but not until you've given me a little time to explain what I have up my sleeve today :)
So you may all know I am expecting a little one soon, July 16th to be exact so I thought it would be a perfect time to revisit this classic topic...Visitors after baby arrives. Well, I love visitors! I think just in general I do, especially when we have a new baby in the house, when visitors come over it shows that they care about me and my family. I love to host them and enjoy conversation.
So basically the article discusses things you should and should not do when visiting a family or friend with a brand new spanking baby right?
Here let me shed some light on how I feel: Times have changed, maybe not by much but alot has. Our land has become exceptionally diverse and with so many ethnic backgrounds to appreciate there is bound to be lots of preference. What I do appreciate from the Bellybelly article is that those 'Rules' become sort of a base of what you actually should be following but more or less you get the point as you read...But let me say it again though, Times have changed. We don't live on the set of Leave it to Beaver and we certainly do not all live in a white picket fenced home. I have birthed and raised 4 children and I'm expecting my 5th, if anyone can contribute a few pointers about first time visiting a newborn baby it be me...
Here is my response to the 10 Rules for Visiting a New Baby, Enjoy!
Bellybelly says #1 Wait to be invited.
My Response- The only rule of this article that I have a gigantic problem with. Wait to be invi---Are you kidding me? OK here is what I've experienced as the visitor, in my family we don't just wait, we call up, confirm if they are busy, ask if its OK to drop by and we do. I come from a Latino/Hispanic background where we can't just say hello unless its 2 minutes long and has a mixture of English and Tex-Mex in there. Some people are just too modest, if we wait to be invited to see a baby, baby would be in preschool by then. Here is my take on visiting - The home rule and the hospital rule are about equally the same. Almost everyone loves visitors at the hospital. Yes there are times when visiting is awkward especially in the hospital setting but everyone has that at some point or else we would never have visitors in there. Let me just be blunt - Patients love to be remembered even if they are ugly, tired, and exhausted from 20 hrs of labor. Just go visit the mother and baby. It's not rocket science, they are your friends or family. Nothing bad can come from it. It shows that you care for them. When they go home, just call. It's as simple as that.
Bellybelly says #2 Know when to say away.
My Response- No, really Sherlock I was going to visit the newborn baby while I am 2 minutes away from reaching a 105 temp from this really bad flu bug that I've been bed-ridden since 3 days ago. Goodness. Gracious.
Bellybelly says #3 Bring Food!
My Response- OK, now they're really starting to understand Latino/Hispanic heritage! Agreed! Let's move on....
Bellybelly says #4 Assume the Role of the Host.
My Response- It's perfectly fine to do this but I wouldn't be expecting much from a person or couple that just had a baby, if I wanted to drink something I would have gotten a bottle soda from the corner store beforehand.
Bellybelly says #5 Help out, Be an extra pair of hands.
My Response- This rule goes back to my experience being on the other side....As a visitor I always ask first. I'm not going to just walk away and start separating the whites from the darks and get the wash going but I will always ask first if they'd like me to do a little cleaning like wash dishes, throw out the trash, sweep, clean bottles, tidy up the bathroom, etc. I was once visiting a new baby in a home with 3 extra adults not including the mommy and 2 teens, so sometimes the extra pair of hands is not needed. Yes, this rule is pretty legit, but Ask First.
Bellybelly says #6 Wait to be offered to hold the baby.
My Response- Absolutely...But don't be afraid to ask. On that same note, don't douse yourself with that expensive perfume. A serious commenter on the article expresses to she had to change the baby's clothes and when it wasn't enough to make the scent disappear she had to bathe the baby..."Please, don't wear heavy perfume." I agree with that gal 100%.
Bellybelly says #7 Know when to give the baby back.
My Response- Grandma or Grandpa, Out- of- town- relatives- that- only- get- to- see- this- family- about- 3 times- a- year and future Godparents I think are the only exceptions to this rule...hahaha what if the visitor is a mixture of all 3? Visitors are not going to keep the baby, if they hog the baby then consider your family a very loving family, not all are blessed to be as such.
Bellybelly says #8 Be Sure to Only Say Nice Things.
My Response- Yes, I agree. Moving on....
Bellybelly says #9 Don't Expect too much.
My Response- Like what? A very clean house? The parents of the newborn looking glammed up ready to attend the Oscars? I've visited many families and their newborns and many have visited me and my newborn, nothing has changed...I've always seen what I've expected and they have always expected what they saw. What a waste of a #9 especially if you have any common sense.
Bellybelly says #10 Don't outstay your welcome.
My Response- "*sarcastically* I was going to kick up my feet and watch The Walking Dead marathon while the baby cries in the background!" We all might not know what time we should bounce but I agree an hour is a good time frame for visiting...Unless you have relatives like mine and they just started the grill and have asked you to stay for dinner complete with a few cold ones, a dessert cake, and grandma has just made all the rice, potato salad, and beans enough to feed a Marine Corps Battalion.
Bellybelly says #11 Don't forget Mum!
My Response- Ah yes, we love the attention but let's not forget the real reason visitors are visiting though, the baby!